If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
