Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
