I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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