He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
