Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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