no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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