I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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