It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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