Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
