fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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