wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
