Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
