she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
