A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
