GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
