everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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