have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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