I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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