Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
