Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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