Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
