have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
