I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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