you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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