There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
