I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
