its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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