You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The police scanner is talking about you again....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
