His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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