And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
