I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize