ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
