I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
