Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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