I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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