All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
