My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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