girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
