I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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