He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
