McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
