im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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