is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
