yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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