loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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