He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
