I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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