hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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