some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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