You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
