I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
